One hundred years ago, I’m fairly certain people were some other type of creature with unusual and irrational problems. If I could find a 100 year old person I would possibly have a good sit down, assuming their camphor odor didn’t make me vomit. The closest thing I have is my great grandmother, who sort of looks like a huge frumpy dishrag. She has fits of irrationality like a higher primate and poops herself, but I can’t blame the old bag. There was probably formaldehyde in her milk. They were still trying to figure out how to make vinegar for fuck’s sake, just before her mother laid her in a nest by some molten volcanic river. Nevertheless chemistry survived and now, thanks to early JACs publications, we have the test tube stands to prove it. C. K. Fracis (J. Am. Chem. Soc, 1907, 29, 787-788):


oldtimeyrack.jpgI’m not so sure how they previously made test tube stands, but apparently they weren’t very good. A propensity to fall over and dissolve sounds like a pretty fuckin’ stupid design. Which is what lead me to my conclusion that our ancestors of 100 years ago (or at least before this publication) were chest slapping retards.

The solution is remarkably hilarious. Simply take a block of wood (poplar is best, apparently) and… wait for it… DRILL HOLES IN IT! Hot shit, that’s f’in BRILLIANT! Where’s this man’s Nobel Prize? Someone get this man a Nobel Prize.

They even provide a blueprint for the exceptionally challenged:


There you have it. Now you know right what we are speaking of. They could have included an equation like… Block of wood + drill = test tube rack, to clear up any confusion “drill holes in a block of wood” may have caused.