Water takes forever to pump off, so much so that I would rather pump off toluene despite its higher boiling point. That being said, I’m pumping excess water off one of my samples and had a bit of extra time on my hands on this day, the Lord’s Sabbath. What-to-do-what-to-do? There’s literature, of course, but I’ve pretty much read everything of general interest to me and done a good once over of the abstracts of the boring shit, so I figured I would do a drug Sunday to fill the vacuum of my life (so sad…).

Darvon or Darvocet or Distalgesic or Doloxene or Co-Promimol or whatever the hell you want to call it is typically served as a mixture of acetaminophen (that’s paracetamol for my international friends) and some hot and spicy synthetic opioid called Dextropropoxyphene. First prepared back in the days when America was generally viewed with far less contempt (JACS DOI: 10.1021/ja01114a019) the active ingredient is said to be very analogous to codeine.

Morphine vs. Darvon

Codeine to the left, Dextropropoxyphene to the right. Whatever. I have taken both drugs at various stages of my life. Codeine finds its way to me during cluster migrane season (which isn’t a season so much as it is a random, horrible period of my life that reoccurs because of all the bad Karma I’ve put into the world. It surly is a punishment for no innocent man should suffer so!) and Darvocet was given to me once when I had a particularly nasty throat infection. Instead of going on about the history and sales of Dextropropoxyphene, which is what I usually do, I’ll just give my very subjective advice: don’t take it… unless you absolutely have to. There are two reasons why you may have to. 1. Your doctor was born in 1834, doesn’t trust you with real drugs, hates you or otherwise can’t spell codeen codein codene codeine. It made me want to destroy myself after about a week (i.e. I felt like I was losing my mind). It was either suffer with my throat infection or take the drug and feel like there were ants in my skin. It was a HORRIBLE choice1. It’s not like real opiates, where you maybe get a little of the pukies and that’s about it, it’s seriously stupid shitty medicine that has been withdrawn from some markets. OR 2. You want to be a stud. I know! How cruel that this drug, a crappy analgesic that makes your skin vibrate, should also make you go slightly numb “down there” such that you could seriously impress the ladies for hours. No happy finish for you, but whatever. You can always stop taking the drug – your reputation as Don Juan with the gross mouth will live on for months in the dorms even if it’s only half true. (Seriously, my mouth is is very clean. The infection was due to stress or something).

pathtoboners.png

The synthesis is pretty straight forward. The actual active product is separated from a mixture of diastereomers. Some of them do nothing but make for good cough medicine.

1Ralph Nader agrees with me. Except he’s not a stud.