Pfft. I got you beat by a billion trillion brazillion times. Doing a backup of my documents on my computer I came across a document I wrote as a green first year. I still wasn’t in a lab yet, I didn’t have a blog and because I have graphomania I had to write something.1 So, I present to you the very unofficial supplementary guide to Advanced Organic Chemistry Section A by Carey and Sundberg. I wrote it for a friend who hadn’t read the book but needed to take the final exam in short order. I release it unto the public for consumption.
But first, let me warn you:
- I was a first year – not surprisingly some of the shit in there may be wrong, poorly written, confusing or generally stupid. If you can’t understand what a few years of maturation will do to you and your writing style then pox on you. I’d like to think I’ve improved
- I wrote this over the course of 24 hours. Yes. 24 hours. I can (though I try not to) write any document in 24 hours, regardless of length. Indeed, some of you will see a book chapter emerge from my fingers dealing with the structural utility and diversity of the Suxmicokin family of compounds in the course of a weekend. It will be grammatically perfect, linguistically artistic, and filled with spelling errors that will take another two days to fix. But that’s how this gangstah rolls. I gotz no spellin’ skillz beyotch. DEAL.
- I’d like to reinforce point one. I wasn’t a very good writer my first year. I’ve sort of only come into my own in the last year or so… so don’t be judgin’ me on that document. Though I’m told it helped my buddy with his final exam – as testament that he didn’t fail the course.
Contrary to what you may think, rewriting the book is actually not a good way to study for a final. I did it for biochemistry as an undergrad and it met with equally disastrous results (sadly, that tome – which was over 100 pages and took me 24 hours to write, has been lost.) But I took my A- like a man and only bitched about it once.2
If you agree to the preceding three points, you may download the document organische-chemie-fr-dum.pdf. It is released with no copyright and may be edited, rebranded or destroyed. Feel free to take credit for it yourself, if you’re so inclined. Just don’t email me asking about it.
1I do not suffer from any mental diseases that I know of. Except general anxiety. That shit sucks, but I generally don’t make it someone else’s problem.
2I have complained every time I received a grade less than an A. You may ask any members of my comittee. The one guy that gave me a B… I still hate him (asshole). I have an inferiority complex *shrug* (see footnote 1.)



in regards to footnote 2, i take it you have medical ambitions?
Nope. Just an over developed sense of purpose.
But then, what’s the difference?
Can you donate some of your ambition? I’ve never really cared much about grades. Unfortunately, my GPA reflects this rather accurately.
who needs talent or passion or skill when you can have good grades?
It’s not ambition. If I were actually ambitious I would have done the requisite work to get the A without the need to argue. I hated classes and I still hate classes. A waste of goddamn time. Nothing inspiring has come to me in a classroom.
Besides, under achievement is the perfect excuse to never actually discover how pitifully low your potential is.
grades are not everything, you should not have fear of being rejected because of GPA. You just need entusiastic endorsement from your prof, to stand out amongst the gray masses of other applicants. If your boss likes, you maybe you could convince him to pick up the phone and talk to some people in other schools on your behalf. You would be amazed. Also try to get on some publications coming from your group.
Aim high, apply to places like MIT or Harvard also. Pleasant or not, it is a worthwhile experience.
Yeah, and when you go to Harvard and MIT next, let them know that I am better than my grades let them think. Clearly, they were looking for someone better on paper. Not that I’m bitter.
You are at a good school, you really can’t complain.
I complain on principle, Mitch. If I didn’t complain I wouldn’t speak, ever.
You’re not lying.
If any school found your blog, I don’t see how they could turn you down. You’re clearly lightyears ahead of most undergrads, regardless of what your grades are. You also managed to give me some sort of complex because of how much you knew, even though we’re the same age.
The only way I could understand a school turning you down is if they had a strict no ninja policy.
(Go easy on yourself! You haven’t had my boss beating obscure concepts into your head for the past two years.)
Who would dare discriminate against ninjas? They certainly couldn’t get away with that for very long.
I read to you from the book of Finchsigmate, chapter 11 were our scribe has written through some sort of inspiration. We begin with the first verse…
“CHAPTER 11: Radicals and things I don’t understand very well
And… IM BACK.
Honey nut whatever is a good cereal. I decided against toast, because I don’t have marmalade, and that’s really what I wanted. Hmm… I should have poured myself a glass of chi tea…
AH, screw it, I’m going to do that too.
Yum, I like Chi tea. Here is where I insert the obligatory chemistry radical joke:
Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street when one of them suddenly stop as says to the other,
“I think I lost an elelctron”
The other asks, ”are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive.”
*rimshot*
Ehehe… let’s start… OH GOD he’s singing OVER THE RAINBOW AGAIN.
Anyway, lets start this chapter again…”
Now that’s good chemistry review… Well, it made me laugh at least.
Yeah, it became increasingly stream of consciousness as the day wore on.
And here I thought maybe you were channelling Uncle Al.
Chi means tea. You don’t need to say, “Chi tea”, just say, “Chi”.
Mitch
Hfdykhdudkuddjdgtfhhhgh tfhu gughjfh?
No. But it doesn’t matter when I’m the only one with admin abilities. Like I said… DEAL with the spelling on your own time.
penis
A different kind of spelling Nazi.
That was directed at Mitch, not at you! (you’re nice. i don’t mind if nice people can’t spell)
Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe
NOW these are Words To Live By:
Curtin-Hammett principle: Learn it or die.
13,421 words!
*bows in front of more worthy nerd*
You don’t know what graphomania is until you have read HOUSE of leaves.
I LOVE that book! The insanity doesn’t stop at mere graphomania.
if the admin would be so kind as to alter the word “HOUSE” to be in all blue (here and in the above post) — it would be much appreciated.
too much work.
i think the thing that stood out the most was the Splenda comment
so are you fat? or just saying it?