So, in an effort to impress the nickers knickerbockers off my boss, I decided to tell him that I would go out to funding agencies and try to find some money for myself.  WELL… fuck that.  Funding agencies have websites but they’re horrible and incomprehensible.

Let’s start with the DOE, since Steve Chu is now the boss, one would expect that his old stomping ground would get a face lift:

Picture 1Never mind that it looks all Drudge Report, some of the listings aren’t even open anymore.  Like, the application deadline is in 3 weeks but you can only apply if you submitted a pre application two months ago.

Lots of good use that’ll make.

If you follow on to Grants.gov, you have the opportunity to search, with very little ability to narrow your search parameters, for grants from every fucking granting agency in the universe for every fucking topic.

In short, searching the DOE website isn’t easy, and finding money for a fellowship isn’t easy either.

SOOO… this brought me to AAAS’s website, which is more palatable and more searchable than the DOE’s.  But, aside from Humboldt fellowships and research on Cancer (not being associated with Germany or cancer, neither do me much good) there haven’t been many strong fellowships for chemists.  Not only that, but the search engine misses fellowships found on the NSF and DOE websites (that I don’t qualify for) making me think it’s rather incomplete.

The NSF is more searchable, but the only fellowships I could find are for arctic research and biology.  I hear I missed the boat on any NSF funding for organic chemistry/material sciences stuff.

Forgive my kvetching, but I’ve been trying to find fellowships just to apply to for two weeks and haven’t found anything.  There may well simply not be any out there, but then, I can’t know because I don’t feel like there’s any meaningful way to find them.